Merry Christmas!

We are thoroughly enjoying the "normal" at our house. It has been an extremely long year and we are glad to have some time to unwind and process much of what we have been through. I would love to say that we are feeling nothing but happiness, but now that our eyes have been opened to the world of childhood cancer, there is always some amount of both fear for our own situation and sorrow for the many families we know who are struggling. The community is small and tightly knit and you cannot help but become intertwined in the lives of the other cancer families. I went to a memorial service just this week for a precious little cancer friend named Lily. She was 11 years old and passed away after a raging three year battle with neuroblastoma. It was a beautiful service...breath-taking and heart-breaking. We know some families who are approaching their first Christmas without a child and others who are celebrating their last. While part of me would love to return to how I was...completely unaware of this suffering...I know it is impossible. The veil has come off and we can no longer pretend this horror doesn't exist. Now...we must act. Patrick is feeling very moved in the area of ministering to other families walking this windy road, while I feel driven toward the building awareness/fundraising side of the battle. It will be interesting to see where God leads us in the years to come, but I know that we must do something. 

So...Christmas feels a bit different this year. It isn't any less special or joyful...if anything, it is more so. But I also feel the sorrow...the fear Mary had...the pain of any parent faced with something that feels like more than they can possibly bear. I now hear the sadness in many Christmas songs. I have a better grasp of why this season can be challenging for so many. I believe overall, it is a blessing. While it is accurate that ignorance is bliss, I am more focussed on the true meaning of Christmas than I have ever been. It feels so much more real, sacred...miraculous. While my emotions are a mixture of joy and sorrow, the undercurrent is thankfulness...and it is completely overflowing.

Thank you for walking with us this year and we pray that your family has a very Merry Christmas! 

"Blessed be the Lord! For he has heard the voice of my pleas for mercy. The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him."

-Psalm 28:6-7